Pretend That You Belong to Me
by ljbimoore
Summary: This is my second reaction piece to 7.10. It starts out a little sad, but don't worry, I believe in happy Darvey endings. :)
1. Chapter 1

Donna stood aimlessly in her kitchen. She didn't know what she wanted to do. She'd been home almost an hour now. She'd changed out of her black dress, slipping into a dark green, satin nightgown. She'd gotten herself ready for bed, but she hadn't gone to lay down. Instead she wandered back into her living room before going to her kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. And ten minutes later, she stood there still, wine glass in her hand, without a sip taken.

Suddenly there was a quiet knocking at her door. She stared at the closed door for almost a full minute, sure she knew who was on the other side. The knocking came again, louder this time. She crossed to the door and swung it open.

Sure enough, there stood Harvey. He'd obviously been home too, and changed. He now wore light khaki pants, and a navy-blue, V-neck sweater. The sight of him made her stomach tighten pleasurably. He was effortlessly gorgeous, as always, but he wore an intense expression that made Donna nervous.

Without saying anything he brushed past her into her apartment. "Come in." Donna said sarcastically under her breath. She closed her door and slowly walked over to lean against the back of her couch and face Harvey where he stood beside her dining room table.

She sighed when he just watched her, not saying a word. "What do you want, Harvey?"

He tilted his head, his expression incredulous. "You did not just ask me that."

She looked away, aware that the question was ridiculous. There was no doubt what he was doing there and his next, quietly spoken question confirmed it.

"Why?"

He had to repeat the question a second time before she finally answered it. She was defensive.

"I told you why, Harvey. I just had…"

"…just had to know. Right!" He said, cutting her off. "That is the most bullshit line. What does that even mean?" His voice was now loud and demanding.

Donna's ire was rising. A small part of her (the part that she'd gotten very good at ignoring) had hoped he was here to continue the kiss, not to chide her about it.

"It means that I'm sick and tired of pretending like we don't mean anything to each other. Aren't you tired of pretending, Harvey?"

Harvey pointed his index finger at her. "I have never once pretended you don't mean anything to me. I said…"

It was Donna's turn to cut him off. "Yes. Right." Her voice was mocking. "You're right, Harvey. You did say," she straightened up from the couch and did her best impersonation of Harvey's deep voice. "Donna, it bothers me when you date other guys, but…that doesn't mean anything. I love you, Donna…but it doesn't mean anything."

Her expression was scornful as she finished. It felt good to vent her long simmering frustration, even if all she really wanted to do was throw her arms around his neck and kiss him again.

After a moment she continued, quietly. "Do you realize that in the last fourteen years I can count on one hand the number of times we've made physical contact?"

Harvey stood scowling at her, but she noticed he made no objections to her assessment of the situation.

After a moment the question that was always at the back of her mind would be denied no longer and bubbled up out of her mouth. "Do you…do you ever think about that night?"

Donna saw surprise cross Harvey's face, along with myriad other emotions that she couldn't quite catch. She held her breath, waiting for his answer.

"No."

Donna expelled the breath, looking away and feeling tears prickle behind her eyes. "Okay." She said, simply, not trusting her choked up throat to say more.

"I can't." Harvey's voice was barely a whisper.

Donna scowled, turning back to look at him. After a second, she threw her hands up. "And what the hell does that mean? You can't?"

Harvey's expression was almost one of desperation, his voice vehement. "You told me, you said that you would only work with me on the condition that we completely forget about that night, pretend it never happened.

"So, I did. I pushed it as far back into my memory as possible. And I don't think about it." He said, emphasizing the word don't. "I can't."

He was quiet for a moment, staring at the floor. He finally looked up, gazing deeply into Donna's eyes. His eyes were filled with heat and obvious desire, his voice smooth and deep.

"And I don't touch you, because when I touch you, I think about that night. And I decided a long time ago that I want you in my life, more than I want you in my bed." He took a ragged breath. "And I really want you in my bed."

The air was charged between them, as though a mere spark could ignite a fire. Donna replayed his words over and over in her mind. She dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes trying to block out the image of the incredibly sexy man saying incredibly sexy things. For years she'd had dreams like this, Harvey telling her how much he wanted her.

She opened her eyes in time to see Harvey, face harsh with desire, taking two long strides, closing the distance between them, arms stretched out, hands reaching to cup her face.

"Donna…" her name was a plea.

Self preservation made her throw her hands out in front of her in a gesture that demanded he stop.

He halted immediately, but he had come close enough that she could see the amber highlights in his eyes, she could smell his skin and feel the heat from his body. He was close enough that she could have grabbed hold of him and pulled him to her. She curled her hands, still out in front of her, into fists to prevent it.

She knew her desire for him was blatant, that it shone out of her eyes as she looked up at him, but she didn't care. She also knew; however, that she couldn't deal with him starting something he couldn't finish. The gentle kiss she'd stolen this evening was already going to torment her forever.

Her voice was a hoarse whisper. "Are you…" she took a deep breath and asked the question she already knew the answer to. "Are you planning on staying the night?"

Harvey's jaw was clenched tight, the muscle jumping frantically there. His gaze devoured her, running over her face and down her satin clad body. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.

He closed his eyes and his expression was tortured.

Paula.

She knew. She knew what he was thinking. He was with Paula and it would kill him to cheat on someone he was committed to. If she had any kindness, she would step away from him and make his agonizing decision easier. She should stop tempting him and give him space. But dammit, she really wanted him to stay.

His eyes still closed, he choked on his words. "I can't."

Donna nodded slightly, her broken heart confirmed by those words. He was with Paula and she had no right to get between them. He opened his eyes and she attempted a weak smile.

"Then you should go." Tears welled up again and she dashed them away.

"Donna…" Harvey's voice broke and he reached for her again. She grabbed his hand with both of hers as it neared her wet cheek.

"You can't help me, Harvey."

He was about to protest when she shook her head and cut in before he could speak. She repeated herself, this time stressing the first word in the sentence. "You, can't help me, Harvey."

The tears fell fast down her cheeks now. She had to get him to leave before she completely fell apart. Harvey still looked like he was determined to do something to try and "fix" the situation, so she told him the truth, hoping it would get through to him.

Her voice was small. "You can't be here, Harvey. You're hurting me."

It definitely got through. He looked as though she'd slapped him. He pulled his hand back and stepped away from her. His expression was crestfallen and for a moment she was half afraid/half excited by the possibility that he was going to reach for her again.

Instead he swept past her and out the door.

She waited almost a full two minutes to be sure he was gone before she let the sobs take over.


	2. Chapter 2

_This is a pretty short chapter, but I just felt like there was a little more to this scene, and I wanted to hear from Harvey. Hope you enjoy. I'll continue on the story soon._ _As always, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. Reviews make my day, I love to hear your feedback! Thanks everyone!_

* * *

Harvey stood in the hallway willing his feet to move. He couldn't go back inside. He could NOT go back inside. He just kept repeating it over and over.

 _Harvey. You're hurting me._

Donna's heartbroken voice and anguished expression had ripped up his insides and he felt as though someone had gut punched him. His body ached with his need to go back through the door, but she was right, staying was a very bad idea.

He forced an image of Paula's face into his mind's eye. He conjured up her blonde hair and blue eyes, but no matter how hard he concentrated, Donna's fiery red hair and hazel eyes kept supplanting the picture in his mind. The vision of her curves wrapped in emerald green satin made his body harden. The nightgown had made the fiery red highlights in her hair stand out more prominently, making him want to crush the cool, silky strands in his fists.

He stood in the hallway trying to get control of his body and make his feet move, when he heard a sound that made him feel like he might be sick. The sound of Donna's sorrowful sobs carried through to him in the hallway. He felt his knees go weak slightly as the realization hit that he was cause of her suffering.

Without conscious thought, without reason, he wrenched her door open again. It was pure instinct that carried him across the floor to where she stood in the same spot she'd been in when he left. Her expression was a mixture of heartbreak, astonishment, and embarrassment.

In seconds, however, he gripped her upper arms and pulled her up against his chest. He didn't give her time to protest again. He followed her example and simply covered her mouth with his.

His tongue swept into her mouth and he tasted every bit of her that he could reach. After so many years he felt like he wanted to devour her, consume her, let her consume him. His hands slid into her hair and finally he could slide his fingers through it as he'd been imagining.

Soon though, very soon, it wasn't enough. His hands drifted down her arms to land on her hips. He gripped them with both hands, pulling the lower half of her body closer, pressing his arousal into the soft heat of her. As he did he realized that she wasn't wearing underwear. He groaned against her lips and heard her moan in reply.

He needed to feel her skin. He began to gather fistfuls of her nightgown, hiking it up in bunches. He managed, finally, to slide one hand underneath the satin. He ran it up the length of her bare thigh before reaching down and grabbing her leg behind her knee and hitching it up on his hip, bringing them into even closer contact.

He walked them back a few steps so that she was pressed up against the back of the couch. He lifted her onto it and her legs wrapped themselves around his hips. She was moaning, breathless and flushed as he left a scorching trail down her neck. He began to pull one of the thin spaghetti straps on her nightgown down over her shoulder, anticipating the sight of the soft, creamy flesh of her breasts when she called out.

"No, Harvey, no!" She shoved him back and he stumbled slightly, both physically and mentally knocked off balance.

She ran around the couch to the front, using the piece of furniture like a shield. They stood panting and staring at each other for a few heartbeats.

"No?" Harvey asked between ragged breaths.

Donna took a steadying breath. "No, Harvey." Tears were back in her eyes. "You'll hate me, Harvey. If we do this, you'll feel guilty forever, and that will eventually make you hate me."

Her words were like knives, slashing him with the truth. Or, part of the truth. He could never hate her, but he knew he'd never forgive himself if they spent the night together. As it was, he could feel the heavy weight of guilt settling in his chest. Why hadn't he actually left when she'd asked him - begged him - to? As always, Donna was right, and was still trying to help him to be a better man.

He ran both hands over his face and back through his hair, desperate to clear his mind and gain some semblance of control.

But he made the mistake of looking back at Donna. He took in her swollen lips and tousled hair and all he wanted to do was carry her to the bedroom he knew was just down the hall, lay her down on her bed, and not let her up for hours.

He needed to leave, right now. "I'm sorry, Donna. I'm…I'm so sorry…I…" He left the sentence hanging, not even sure what it was he wanted to tell her. In the end he simply turned on his heel and walked out, and this time, he didn't stop walking.


	3. Chapter 3

_This chapter may make some of you kind of unhappy. But I tried to keep it truthful to how I see these characters in this particular fan fic. I want to reassure you again, that I love my_ Happily Darvey Ever After _, but we have to have some turmoil before we get there. g_ _I hope you enjoy this chapter for the insight I'm hoping it will give into "my Harvey's" state of mind._ _As always, all reviews are greatly appreciated. Even if it's just to tell me I suck for this chapter. Lol! Thanks for reading!_

* * *

 _Harvey stood in his old office. Exactly in the middle. Donna stood outside, in front of her old desk._

 _Harvey tried to call her to come inside. He needed her. He needed her so badly._

 _No matter how hard he tried, however, nothing would come out of his mouth. Not her name, not a yell, not a murmur._

 _She stood there staring at him for hours. Finally, when he was unable to tell her how badly he needed her, she turned and walked away._

 _He fell to his knees then, still unable to go after her, still desperate for her to stay._

 _Her voice echoed around him._

 _Harvey. You're hurting me. I'm done._  
Harvey.

Harvey.

"Harvey!"

Harvey woke slowly, completely lost as to what was happening. Where was Donna? Had she left? Could he speak?

Before the answer to any of the questions could be found, a wave of nausea hit him and his head suddenly felt like someone had cleaved it in two.

Harvey sat up straighter on his couch and took very deep breaths. When he no longer felt there was an immediate danger of projectile vomiting he cracked open one eye. The cheery sunshine streaming in his living room windows made him slam it shut again and bring a hand to his forehead with a deep groan.

The same light British accent that had woken him, spoke again. "Harvey. My god, what happened?"

Harvey scowled, his eyes still tightly closed. "I got drunk."

Paula's voice was dry. "Well, yes I'd deduced that much for myself, funnily enough. The empty whiskey bottle sitting on your coffee table was a good indicator. I meant, since when do you get drunk?"

Harvey felt the couch seat shift slightly as she sat down beside him. The tiny movement set his stomach roiling and he knew he wouldn't escape sickness this time. He ran to his bathroom, barely making it and making his head ache so badly that when he was done throwing up he thought he might be sick all over again.

He downed three glasses of water and two pain killers. He also brushed his teeth and poured cool water over his head. He felt mildly human by the time he went back out to face Paula.

She'd brewed a pot of coffee and made some toast. "Here, this should help a bit."  
He sat down at the island in his kitchen and took a few sips of coffee and a bite of toast to give himself some time to think.

"What happened, Harvey? I don't think I've ever known you to lose control like that." Paula asked, gesturing to the empty bottle on the table and the overturned tumbler that had landed on the floor at some point.

Harvey grimaced and took another sip of coffee. He gave a half truth. "Jessica told me to take her name off the wall. She's gone for good now."

Paula's face crumpled up in sympathy. "Oh, Harvey." She reached out and covered his hand where it rested on the counter. "I'm so sorry. No wonder you were so upset."

Harvey looked into Paula's light blue eyes, filled with concern and kindness and he felt a pit open in his stomach. Guilt rushed in to flood it.

"What can I do to help?" She asked squeezing his hand gently.

Harvey just shook his head, lowering his gaze to his plate in an attempt to hide any guilt showing on his normally perfect poker face.

He tapped the plate with a piece of toast. "This was a huge help, really. I feel a million times better." He lied. "Now, I'm just going to take a very long shower and I'll be a hundred percent."

He chanced catching her gaze to give her the best smile he could muster. "I'm sorry I forgot about our breakfast date. Can I make it up with dinner tonight?" Maybe by then he would have figured out what the hell to do and what to tell her.

"I can't tonight, I have a late client. But can we try for tomorrow?" Paula asked as she slung her purse over her shoulder and prepared to leave.

"Sure." Harvey said trying not to show how relieved he was to get an extra day reprieve.

Paula leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on Harvey's lips. She started to pull away, but Harvey grabbed the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. He kissed her long and slow, desperate to feel even a ghost of what he'd felt with Donna. After a few moments he pulled away.

The kiss was nice. Paula was beautiful and a good kisser. But that's where it ended. There was no fiery passion, no desperate need to explore every inch of her skin with his tongue, or sink his body so deeply into hers that they melded into one. Nothing even close. It was pleasant, and that was all.

As he ended the kiss Paula looked up at him slightly dazed, eyes dilated with desire. More piercing guilt stabbed him. He shouldn't have done that. Paula clearly wasn't feeling the same underwhelming feelings he was. But he'd just had to know what his true feelings were for the woman he'd committed himself to.

" _I'm sorry, Harvey. I just had to know."_

Shit. He understood now.

Paula cleared her throat and smiled at him, straightening. "And on that note, I'll see you tomorrow evening." She said, walking to his door and giving a wave.

Harvey sat on his bar seat another ten minutes, his coffee going cold and his toast hardening.

He knew now that he wanted Donna utterly and completely. But what would that do to them? He meant what he'd told her when he said he'd always chosen to have her in his life, over having her in his bed. Sex could ruin everything.

For one thing, if it was discovered that they were sleeping together, it was sure to add more fuel to the bullshit rumours Malik had hinted at, that Donna was sleeping her way to the top. He didn't want to tear apart her budding COO career before it had even really begun. She was incredible at her job, and she loved it. Would he ruin all that for her?

And what were the chances things between him and Donna could ever remain nothing more than co-workers with benefits. They had too many years and too many feelings between them for it to be that simple.

Simple. Paula was simple. She didn't make him constantly terrified of losing her. She didn't make him feel like he was going to implode if he didn't get his hands on her. She didn't constantly invade his dreams, teasing and taunting until he woke up in a sweat, body aching for her touch.

It was uncomplicated and easy with Paula. If he was honest, he knew that was the reason he'd stayed with her for as long as he had. She was a good companion and easy company.

Donna was a piece of him. He needed her like he needed breath.

That incredible realization terrified him beyond anything he'd ever experienced. As always, his worst fear came screaming in to protest that realization.

What would happen if they tried to be more and it didn't work out?

Like credits at the end of a movie, all the names of the women he'd been with over the years rolled past his mind's eye. It was a scrolling list of failure.

And the common denominator in all of those failures was him. From the recesses of his memory Louis' voice came forward.  
 _"There is something wrong with you!"_

He'd said it the day after Harvey had punched him and thrown him into a coffee table. Harvey had cut off Louis' words, but the truth was he'd always thought Louis was right. There was something wrong with him.

He may have started to patch things up with his Mom (thanks only to Donna) but he knew a lot of the issues he'd dealt with from his childhood were still there inside him.

The feeling of being abandoned and betrayed by his mother, being afraid to show his real emotions, needing to appear impenetrable, unshakable, these emotions were still there. And while therapy had helped him to see them, identify them, he still had no idea how to deal with them.

He would screw things up with Donna. He would hurt her. He'd break her somehow. He knew it.

His head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, and he dropped it into his hands.

He couldn't be with Donna. He couldn't live without her.

He dragged himself to his feet and wobbled towards the shower. What the hell was he supposed to do with that conclusion?

* * *

 _So, again, thanks for reading. Hopefully you don't hate what I've done with Harvey and Paula in this chapter. I actually really like Paula – not with Harvey, of course! – and I definitely liked her better before they got together, but I do like her. Plus, if I made her a villain it would be too easy for Harvey to dump her and move on. But he's with her for a reason, and I tried to explore those reasons here. Hope you could enjoy it. I promise there will be lots of Darvey in the next chapter._


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm sorry Chapter 4 took me so long to post. Life got in the way. :) Thanks for all the encouraging feedback and reviews. I'm working on Chapter 5 already, so hopefully I'll be able to post it much quicker. Happy reading! :)_

* * *

Donna stepped into the elevator quickly, hoping to avoid anyone else getting in with her. She didn't have enough energy or patience to deal with people. It had taken every ounce of determination she had to get out of bed, and get dressed this morning. She hadn't managed a minute's rest the night before, and all she really wanted was to curl up in bed, pull the covers over her head and remain there, unmoving, possibly for days.

However, she knew how vulnerable the firm was right now, and she couldn't abandon her family in their time of need.

Her family. The thought of her Pearson Specter Litt family usually brought her immense happiness. Today it brought her sadness and a good helping of fear.

 _Will he be here_? She wondered. _Well, that's a stupid question_ , Donna argued with herself. _Of course he'll be here._

The question was when would she see him?

As she stepped off he elevator onto the fiftieth floor, she tried to nonchalantly look around the reception area. In addition to not wanting to see Harvey, she didn't particularly want to run into Rachel either. Her best friend was too perceptive by far.

She was nervous and antsy as she walked past reception towards her office.

"Donna." Louis' voice right behind her made her jump, causing her to nearly drop her coffee.

"Louis!" She scolded. "Don't sneak up on me!"

"I wasn't sneaking." Louis said defensively. "I was walking down the hallway. As many of these people are also doing." He swung his arm out, indicating the busy rush of people coming and going around them.

"Fine, Louis, you just started me, that's all. What do you want?"

"We're meeting in my office in two minutes."

Donna felt her stomach plunge. "Who's we?"

"Who do you think?" Louis asked giving her an appraising look. "Us and Harvey, of course. And we should hurry up, he says he has something really important to talk to us about"

Louis speed walked away from her as she slowed to a snail's pace behind him. She was not ready for this. She was not ready to see him. Last night was too fresh. She could still feel his fingerprints on her skin, still hear his ragged groans in her ear. Her body felt flushed and overheated just remembering it. How could she face him?

Louis looked back. "Come on!"

Donna walked slowly after him as his office came into view.

She sucked in a breath when she noticed Harvey, standing straight and tall as always in front of the bank of windows. He was turned away from the door, his broad back was all she could see.

She could hear Louis as he entered his office. "Okay, we're here. What's happening?"

She thought she noticed Harvey's back stiffen slightly as she walked through the door, but she couldn't be sure.

His face, when he finally turned around, was impassive and shielded. She had a very hard time reading him when he was like this. She thought he looked tired, but that was in no way shocking.

Harvey unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat on Louis' couch. "Malik is going to try and have Jessica disbarred."

"Bullshit!" Louis exploded immediately. "I've had more than enough of that piece of shit and he's not going to..."

"Louis!" Harvey cut into his diatribe. "Jessica says she doesn't want to fight it."

"What?!"

Harvey held up a hand, stopping Louis before he could start up again.

"She's determined, Louis. She says no one will care in Chicago and that's where she and Jeff are setting up their life." Harvey paused, and Donna could hear the sadness in his voice in spite of his attempt to hide it. "She's really not coming back."

Louis was quiet, alternating between seething and sad. "So, what do we do, Harvey?" He asked finally.

Harvey stood up, his natural sense of authority kicking in. "Louis, we need you to go over all the financials and figure out how much we're going to spend to buy Jessica out and where that leaves us." He paused. "And Louis, we're not going to lowball her here. We're giving her everything she's worth; and she's priceless." His expression would brook no argument.

Louis nodded and left to get started.

Donna panicked. She couldn't be alone here with Harvey. She started to head out too. "Well, I'll go start the paperwork for the name change and partner dissolution."

Harvey moved in front of her quickly, blocking her escape route.

She stopped abruptly, nearly colliding with him. She really wanted to give him a good scowl, but she also really didn't want to look at him. She settled for frowning at his chin.

"Donna..."

She waited for him to continue. When he didn't, she chanced a glance at him.

It was a mistake.

His gaze was intense and focused. She felt like he was staring through her, exposing her.

Memories of the night before rushed through her. She felt his hands on her skin again, felt the scorching heat of his lips. Her mouth went dry and her body felt heavy with remembered touch.

She shook her head.

"No, Harvey." She said simply.

She wasn't sure what she was saying no to; the memories, talking about last night, feeling like she was going to jump out of her skin; or no to repeating their actions of the night before. But she simply knew she had reached her very frayed end. It was just no.

She skirted around him and practically ran out the door. She could feel his eyes on her as she left, but she told herself that, no, she would not turn around.

* * *

Harvey was exhausted as he walked through the massive glass doors into the lobby of the building. He'd gone for a walk around the block, hoping the cool night air would clear his mind a bit. It hadn't. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he made his way to the elevators.

"Jesus, Harvey! We're you waiting down here for me?"

He looked up abruptly as Donna's angry voice carried across the lobby from the elevator she was departing.

Thankfully there was no one around this late at night.

Irritation pricked at him and his voice was angry. "No, Donna, I haven't been sitting here like a stalker waiting for you to come downstairs. I took a walk, but I still have a shit load of work to do, so I'm back."

Donna looked slightly embarrassed. "I see." She said, then fell silent for a moment. "Well, goodnight then." She said finally, and tried to walk quickly past him.

Instinctively, Harvey reached out to grab her wrist as she passed him. He held it loosely, but it halted her nonetheless. They stood like that for a moment, facing in opposite directions, joined by the hold Harvey had on her.

She turned her head slightly, peering over her right shoulder to look down at their hands. Her voice was mildly annoyed and fairly breathless.

"Let go of me, Harvey."

Harvey turned to face her, but kept hold of her wrist. She continued to face away from him.

"Donna, I just…I just want to know if you're okay."

Donna barked out an entirely mirthless laugh. "No, Harvey, I'm not okay." She said in incredulous tones. "I am one hundred percent not okay."

Harvey closed his eyes as she finally faced him, eyes brimming with tears. God, why did he keep doing this to her?

Before he could say anything, she spoke again, her voice quiet and incredibly sad. "Are you still with her?"

Harvey opened his eyes, to stare into her gorgeous hazel gaze which seemed more green than brown at the moment. He tried desperately to find words that would convey all his thoughts and fears and hopes about their relationship. But nothing came out, it was as though a big lump was choking him.

She nodded as though he had spoken anyway.

"So, then just stop. Please."

Harvey made a noise, of protest or apology he wasn't sure. It was strangled by the knot in his throat.

"Do you care about me, Harvey?" Donna asked, desperation creeping into her voice.

Harvey scowled slightly. How could she still need to ask that? "Of course." He said, just managing to push the two words out.

An expression of desperation and pleading filled Donna's features. Her voice was once again soft and full of sadness. "Then, please, Harvey, let me go."

He knew she wasn't talking about the gentle grip he had around her wrist. She wanted him to let her go completely, to let her live a life without the idea of THEM hanging over her. He wanted to stop hurting her, he wanted her to be happy. He wanted to see her smile again, hear her laugh. If he just let things go, pretended that yesterday had never happened, they were sure to get back to friendship at least. Given enough time, couldn't things go back to the place where he at least had pieces of Donna? He had to hope. One by one, he lifted his fingers off her wrist. It fell limply to her side.

A few tears leaked out to run down her cheeks, and Harvey felt his own eyes watering.

"Goodbye, Harvey." She said, and a shiver ran down his spine at the finality in the words and in her tone.

What had he done?


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5 is a little longer, I figured I owed it to you after the long wait for Chapter 4. As always, thank you so much for all your reviews – they are such an inspiration to keep writing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

"I don't know, I was thinking of having the lobster, but there's part of me that would very much like a big juicy steak." Paula smiled at him across their table, her features softened by the dim lighting of the restaurant. "What are you getting?"

Harvey stared at her and knew suddenly, as clearly as if a sign had appeared above her head, that he had to end things with her.

Paula was everything he should want in a partner. She was intelligent, warm, straightforward, and beautiful. There was only one thing she wasn't.

She wasn't Donna.

He put his hands over hers. "Paula, can we get out of here? I need to talk to you and this isn't the place."

Paula's face clouded over, and he damned her therapist's intuition.

She lowered her head and spoke to the table. "No, Harvey. I'm starving and since you're breaking up with me, I'd like to stay here where I can eat my feelings after you've left."

Harvey was quiet, not sure what to say to that right away. Finally, he tried a teasing tone. "Isn't that unhealthy? I mean from a mental health standpoint"

Paula looked up at him and her smile was wistful and sad. "Well, we are none of us perfect."

Harvey shook his head. "You're pretty close, Paula. I really want to say..."

She cut him off. "Harvey, there's no need. I've known for days that this was coming, ever since you drank yourself into oblivion the other night." She paused for a moment. "Actually, that's not true. I think I've known from the beginning."

Harvey began to protest that, but she waved at him dismissively.

"Oh, I know you didn't know from the beginning. I know you truly believed that you wanted to be with me. I had hoped that our collective will to be together would make this work." She shook her head. "But a relationship really only has enough room in it for two people. At least, my relationships do, and ours has had a third person tagging along from the very beginning."

Harvey sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Paula, really. I never meant to..."

Paula's eyes watered slightly. "I know, Harvey. I know you never meant to lie to me, or to yourself. I know you never meant to hurt me." She smiled ruefully. "The truth is you're really a very sweet, kind, man you know."

Harvey scoffed. "And here I thought you were supposed to be a professional."

"I am, and as a professional I'll tell you, that you deserve to be happy." She paused and gave him a look full of meaning. "And we both know what, or rather whom, you need to be happy."

Harvey shook his head. "Paula..."

She reached out a hand and placed it on his cheek. "Don't wait too long to tell her, Harvey. She deserves to be happy too."

She took a steadying breath and dropped her hand. "Now get out of here so I can eat chocolate cake for supper and dessert." She smiled a wobbly smile. "Oh, and pay the cheque on your way out, will you? Just leave your credit card number with the hostess, I may throw a few glasses of wine into the bargain."

Harvey stood up and smiled down at her. "I'll do that." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "It's only fair, I suppose. I owe you much more than I can repay."

He squeezed her hand and walked away, feeling a weight lift from his chest, and anticipating a sunnier tomorrow.

* * *

The rain fell, heavy and gray, endlessly drumming against the massive windows in Harvey's office. He faced away from the door, watching the outside world through a curtain of water. The dismal grey skies perfectly matched his mood. His body felt sluggish and everything around him felt dark and oppressive.

He heard soft footfalls enter his office and he tensed. She was here.

"I just need your signature here, Harvey." Her voice was pleasant.

He turned around and saw her standing a respectful two or three feet from his desk; close enough that she could hand him the paperwork easily, but not so close as to imply camaraderie or invite confidences.

She looked beautiful standing in front of him. Her hair had been cut recently, making it wavier than it was when it was longer. Bouncy red waves fell to her shoulders, surrounding her lightly freckled face. She wore a sage green jumpsuit with a fitted bodice and long straight legs.

She looked perfectly groomed, perfectly put together and it made Harvey's heart ache. She didn't miss him at all.

It had been three weeks since she'd walked away from him in the lobby and every day the distance between them grew. Everyday they went about performing the business of the firm, and every day she smiled pleasantly, spoke pleasantly, and basically set him to grinding his teeth during most of their interactions.

In the first few days after their confrontation, he'd been grateful. He was happy that things weren't overly strained or awkward. Of course, he still wanted her desperately, but he was hoping that that would soon be under control too and he could go back to repressing the memory of her soft, yielding flesh beneath his hands.

But the memory of her stayed with him constantly. He heard her soft sighs and whimpers of pleasure every time he closed his eyes. When she looked at him, all he wanted to do was crush her lips beneath his, until her eyes lost their look of cool disinterest and blazed with the fiery passion he knew lived in their depths.

She; however, was more than happy to move farther and farther away from him. She smiled, but it was never a real smile. She never laughed with him, or teased him. She never gave him shit for anything, or bolstered him up at the exact moment he needed it. She never shared stories of her day with him, or talked to him about anything of any consequence. It was all about the job. She was only interested in talking firm business and even then, only for a few minutes at a time.

She had moved on completely and he was increasingly sure, he never would.

Now, she passed him the settlement document she was holding. He took the folder and opened it. The silence stretched out between them while he perused the papers. He wanted to say something, wanted to break the wall that stood between them. But he didn't know where he could possibly start. Her crisp efficiency and brisk politeness was an obstruction he couldn't get past.

He lingered over the simple four-page document, pretending to read it over incredibly thoroughly, all the while trying to think of something to say.

"Is there a problem with the settlement?" Donna asked.

"No, it looks fine so far. I just want to be careful."

She didn't say anything further and another minute stretched out in silence.

Finally, some annoyance crept into her voice. "Harvey, they didn't study the Declaration of Independence this long! It's a boiler plate settlement."

Harvey grinned, happy that some emotion had finally trumped "cordial" in her dealings with him. "I want to be a very hands-on Managing Partner. Can't let my employees slip up, how would that make the firm look?"

He was hoping to goad her into losing her cool a little more. But at the teasing comment, her affable mask fell back into place and she just smiled. Pleasantly. Harvey wanted to scream.

Instead, he signed the bottom of the last page and handed the folder back across the desk. She reached for it, but when she grabbed it, he didn't let go. She pulled gently on it, but Harvey held fast.

"How are you, Donna?" He asked, seriously, trying to catch her gaze.

She let go of the folder and moved away. "I'm fine, Harvey, thanks. But busy, so just drop that in my office when you have a chance."

"Wait!" Harvey called, and she stopped in the doorway, her back to him.

He got up and moved around his desk. He stood behind her, reaching around her body to pass the folder to her. Her scent, a combination of vanilla and warm spice, wafted up to him and he wondered what would happen if he lifted the hair off her neck and placed a kiss there.

 _You'd get sued for sexual harassment, Asshole_ , Harvey thought angrily. _Hasn't she made it perfectly clear she isn't interested in dealing with your shit anymore? You said you'd let her go. This is what that looks like. Polite conversation and nothing more._

Donna grabbed hold of the folder and moved off down the hallway, passing her office. "Thanks, Harvey." She called back to him - pleasant once again.

Harvey walked back into his office and poured himself a scotch. He took a sip, and then angrily threw the glass against the wall underneath his mother's painting. The sound of it shattering did very little to help him.

She was gone. Donna was gone. He felt his breathing catch and a familiar tightening in his chest.

Before he could completely lose control, he ran a hand through his hair and grabbed his coat. He was about to go and do something he never, ever thought he would do.

He was off to see his young protégé for advice about his love life.

* * *

Harvey banged on the door a second time. He knew he was disturbing Mike. The younger man was home sick. But Harvey had run through the rain to hail a taxi, too impatient to wait for Ray. And he hadn't come this far, dripping and sodden, to turn back now.

As he banged a third time, Mike's vastly irritated voice came through the door to him.

"Okay! For fuck sakes, I'm coming!"

The door swung open and Mike's deep scowl transformed into a look of surprise.

"Harvey!" He pulled his bathrobe closed over his boxers. "What are you doing here?" He looked toward his bedroom as Harvey pushed his way into the apartment. "Is something wrong?"

Harvey felt his mind unraveling. "Yes! Something is absolutely wrong! How could you not already know why I'm here?!" Harvey yelled, completely, and irrationally, annoyed with Mike. Why did he have to try and explain how he was feeling?

His thoughts spilled out as he yelled again. "Aren't you supposed to be my family, my best friend? How do you not know why I'm here?!"

Mike stared at him, blue eyes wide and unblinking in complete bewilderment.

"Harvey, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I do."

Harvey spun around to see Rachel emerging from the bedroom tightening the belt of her robe. He suddenly understood just how sick Mike actually was. He tilted his head, giving Rachel a knowing look. "Aren't you supposed to be meeting with a client?" He turned the same look on Mike. "Are we repping you in a case I'm unaware of?"

Rachel waved him away. "The meeting ended early." She pointed a finger at Harvey. "I know why you're here losing your shit. It's the same thing that has had Donna walking around like a broken-hearted ghost for the last three weeks."

Harvey cut in. "Are you kidding me? Broken-hearted? She's fine. She's better than fine. She's..." He paused and then grimaced. "... pleasant."

He began pacing. "Every time I see her she's cordial and polite, like she doesn't have a care in the world. Cordial!" He repeated, voice raised.

"Oh my God, Harvey! You are such an idiot!" Rachel yelled back at him. Harvey stopped pacing and looked at her in surprise.

"That's right, you heard me." Rachel said, her voice lower but still unflinching. "How can you be so good at reading people, so good at knowing what they're thinking, even before they do, and still not be able to see how much Donna is hurting? She loves you, Harvey; has loved you for so many years. Do you honestly think she's just over that?" Rachel's beautiful face was scrunched up into disbelief. "How can you be so blind and stupid?"

Harvey had no answer to that and simply stood trying to get a handle on his emotions. But a small bud of hope had sprung up in his mind. Was she really just a much better actress than he'd ever given her credit for?

Mike poured him a drink and walked over to where he stood by the couch. He pulled Harvey's dripping coat off his shoulders and pushed him lightly onto the couch. He handed him the drink. "She's right, you know." He nodded at the glass. "Drink."

Harvey obeyed, downing the drink in one swallow. "What do I do, then?" Harvey asked. Asking for advice and help went against every instinct in Harvey's body and Mike's answer only made things worse.

"You tell her how you feel."

Harvey shook his head, his voice rising again in frustration. "I don't know how to do that! Anytime I've tried or thought about trying, all my words just sit like a lump in my throat. Or I say the stupidest things, and everything gets twisted around from the way I meant it."

He dropped his head into his hands. Silence reigned for a few minutes before Rachel broke it.

"Write a letter." she said, her voice alive with inspiration.

Harvey raised his head to scowl at her as though she was a madwoman. "What?"

"Yes!" Rachel said, eyes lit with romantic zeal. "A love letter."

Harvey looked at Mike, his arms thrown wide in appeal.

Mike nodded, picking up on Harvey's incredulity. "Yeah, I don't know, Rach. I don't think a love letter is necessarily..."

Rachel put her hands on her hips. "Listen to me. After all the shit you've put that woman through, she deserves to be wooed. She deserves to have her praises written." Her eyes widened with new inspiration. "With a little help from Mr. Shakespeare."

Harvey looked horrified. "You want me to write her a fucking sonnet?!"

Rachel's eyes narrowed, her expression full of passionate fury and accusation. "Are you telling me you don't think she's worth a sonnet?"

Harvey threw his hands up as though he was being arrested. "No! That's...you're right…she deserves a sonnet."

Rachel's expression shifted back to hopeful romantic. "Okay! I'm going to get the pen and paper!" She practically squealed, racing into the bedroom.

Harvey gave Mike a look of terror. "Thank God that woman is on our side. Can you imagine facing that in court?"

Mike chuckled. "Imagine facing that when you miss an appointment with the wedding planner!"


	6. Chapter 6

Hello everyone! I'm sorry that it's been so, so long since I've written. Life and work has just been in the way. But I haven't forgotten about Harvey and Donna. I want to finish this story before the show returns on March 28 so that if the writers don't give us a happy ending, we can come read one here. So look for more chapters to come. At least one more after this. Maybe two. Happy reading! And all reviews are GREATLY appreciated.

* * *

Donna slammed the taxi door a little harder than necessary. She was exhausted, more bone tired than she could ever remember being. The smile she kept plastered on her face all day made her facial muscles ache.

As she rummaged in her purse for her keys, her wallet tumbled out. "Damn!" she cursed quietly. She reached to pick it up just as a man walked by and kicked into one of the little window alcoves along her building.

"Fuck!" she yelled at the man's back as he continued on, oblivious. She ran after it, pulling it from the mud.

"I'm surprised to hear such language, Miss Paulsen." Said a voice. She whipped around to see Andrew Mailk standing uncomfortably close behind her.

Malik wore a sneer and, she noticed, wobbled slightly before leaning on the wall beside her, completely boxing her into the small space.

He was so close now that she could smell the whiskey on his breath.

She straightened her spine. "What do you want, Mailk?" she asked, painting her words with as much derision as she could.

"I'm just checking in, just seeing if you're still enjoying your ill-gotten position of CEO."

Donna shook her head dismissively. "Go to hell, Malik." She said, as she tried to push past his arm. But he held firm, keeping her trapped, and a little alarm bell began sounding in Donna's mind.

"You know, if you hadn't left the DA's office to chase after Harvey, I could have offered you all kinds of positions." Malik'svoice was low as he pressed her back against the wall of the building.

Donna raised her right hand to slap him, but he grabbed her wrist in a vice-like grip. She gasped in pain. He seemed to believe she was gasping in excitement and took it as an invitation to lean into her body.

"I'd still be willing to help you out."

"Get off of me, you drunken ass!" Donna pulled against his bruising grip on her wrist. He squeezed harder and pulled her arm up painfully behind her back.

"You and Harvey both think you're so much better than stupid little Andy Malik. You think you've gotten the best of me because Jessica got off scot-free, again!" He wrenched on her arm harder, pulling it higher behind her back. Donna couldn't keep a small cry of pain from escaping.

Mailk continued, his voice harsh and his eyes unfocused. "You think you have all the power, you think you know all my moves. I'll show you power!"

With that he crushed his lips onto hers. His free hand grasped her jaw like a vice, holding her head in place. His breath was fetid and Donna gagged. He took the opportunity to shove his tongue roughly into her mouth. Instinctively, Donna bit down on it, hard, and tasted blood.

Malik roared in pain, pulling back from her before raising his hand and hitting her so hard across her cheekbone that her ears rang. She fell sideways and he finally let go of her arm, causing her to land on her side in the mud.

He stood over her for a second, and his face was full of astonishment, as though he had just woken up to the scene before him. He spun on his heal and was gone in a flash.

Donna sat where she was for almost a full five minutes, watching the odd person walk by on the street. No one stopped to ask if she was alright. Maybe they thought she was drunk. Maybe they thought she just liked sitting in the mud. Or maybe they just didn't even notice.

Finally, still numb with shock, she tried to stand up. She made the mistake of leaning on her right hand. She cried out softly as pain shot up her arm.

Slipping and sliding in the muck on the ground, she finally got to her feet and ran into her apartment block. She was grateful her doorman didn't really look up as she rushed past to the elevators.

She let herself into her apartment and collapsed against the door. Muddy and exhausted, shaken and sore, she didn't notice the small white envelope that had been pushed under her door that afternoon. She took a step and it stuck to the mud on the bottom of her shoe. Still unnoticed, it flew under the hall bench as Donna kicked of her shoes and headed to the shower.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for reading everyone! My apologies for such a short last chapter. This one is a little on the shorter side too. But I'm trying to upload a chapter a day until it's it's finished. So there will be another one tomorrow. Reviews are an incredible motivation, please keep 'em coming! :)

* * *

Mike walked into Harvey's office, a scowl creasing his forehead.

"Harvey, we've gotta come at this Cummings settlement with more strength. We're acting like we're the ones begging them, when..." Mike broke off as he looked up from the paperwork he was holding.

"Holy Shit, Harvey! What happened to you?"

He had never, in the nearly eight years he'd known Harvey, seen him look so completely broken. Not even when Harvey had been fighting like hell to keep him out of prison, had he looked this bad.

He wore no tie, or jacket. His shirt looked suspiciously like it had been slept in, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His hair was a rumpled mess, all remnants of any sort of styling product absent from the short strands. There were clear indications that Harvey had been running his hands through it regularly.

His face had been buried in his hands as Mike came in but he looked up, when Mike stopped mid-sentence. His expression was desperate and wild. His eyes were dark and full of despair.

Mike could think of only one reason Harvey would be like this in the office.

"The letter didn't go well?" Mike asked with a grimace. Man, he wished these two would get it right.

"No." Harvey said, his voice a croak. "I slipped it under her door right after I left you guys on Friday. And I didn't hear from her all weekend. Nothing. Not even a text to say, 'You're a fucking asshole, Harvey'." He sunk his head back into his hands and his voice was muffled as he spoke to his desktop.

"And now Gretchen tells me she's called in sick." He looked back up at Mike. "Donna – sick! Do you ever remember such a thing? She's never sick. She just didn't want to have deal with my pathetic ass." He folded his arms and dropped his head on to them with a dull thud.

Mike had to admit, it was a pretty pathetic site.

"Come on, Harvey! There are a million reasons she might not have texted you this weekend. Maybe she just needed time to think things over. Maybe she was away at her father's or a friend's house. And maybe she really is sick today. Even the great and powerful Donna is susceptible to germs now and then. The point is you need to snap out of it. Sitting here like this isn't doing you any good."

Harvey's head snapped up. "You're right."

Mike wasn't crazy about the steely determination he saw in Harvey's expression now. That didn't usually bode well. His concerns weren't allayed as Harvey jumped to his feet and headed for the door. Mike tossed the folders he was holding onto Harvey's desk and followed him quickly out to the elevators.

"Harvey, what's the plan here?"

"You were right, sitting around isn't any good. I need to find out what she's thinking. And the only way to do that is to go ask her."

"Or," Mike said slowly, "you could take another day and maybe sleep on it. You're clearly exhausted. You don't want to say the wrong thing just because you showed up at her door, tired and not thinking clearly."

The elevator dinged open and Harvey walked through the doors. "My thoughts have never been clearer."

"Harvey!" But Mike's sage advice was lost as the doors closed on Harvey's extremely resolute expression. He just shook his head and headed to Rachel's office. She'd want to hear this.

* * *

Donna sat on her couch, trying to pay attention to the random chic flick she'd stumbled across while flipping through the channels. It was not working. She kept losing focus until she no longer knew which guy in the love triangle she was supposed to be rooting for.

She clicked the TV off and let silence descend. She decided she really didn't like it and was reaching for the remote to turn some sound back on when there was a sudden pounding at her door.

She sat forward on the couch. Who on earth…

Before she could ponder too long, she heard Harvey's voice on the other side. "Donna! I know you're home, so open the door."

Donna scowled. Presumptuous ass! It was her door and it was going to remain closed.

He pounded again, and shouted louder. "Donna!"

She rushed to the door, yelling through it. "Shut up, you idiot! I have neighbors and they don't need to listen to you. I'm...sick, go away."

Harvey's voice was mocking. "You are the worst liar in the world! Open the door." And he pounded again.

"Stop that!" Donna shouted.

"Then open the god-dammed door!"

She looked down at her wrist wrapped in a tensor bandage, and her arm hanging in a sling. She peeked in the mirror by her door and saw the patchwork of deep purplish and yellow bruises that crossed her cheek and jaw.

If Harvey saw this he would flip, and if he worked out who did it, he'd go after Malik in a heartbeat, before she could blink. She needed to try to keep him on the other side of the door.

"You can't just order me to do stuff, Harvey." She said angrily. "This is my house. I'm sick and I don't want to talk to you. So just go."

He was quiet for a minute and she wondered if he'd left. But in the next moment his voice came through, quieter and closer, as though he was pressed up against the door.

"Look, Donna, I'm sorry about the letter, okay. It was stupid. It was a stupid way to do this…I just…" He trailed off and then let out a little growl. "Look I don't want to have this conversation with you through your door. Would you just let me in? I promise I just want to talk."

Letter?

"Harvey, what letter are you talking about?" Donna asked him, completely baffled. "You mailed me a letter?"

There was a momentary pause before Harvey's voice was back. When Donna heard his tone she practically groaned aloud. It was his, "brook-no-argument" voice.

"If you're not mad about the letter then why aren't you letting me in? Donna what's wrong? What happened?"

His intuition was up now and he would not leave without seeing her. She knew how completely stubborn he was. She sighed.

"Okay, Harvey. I'll let you in if you give me your promise that once I open the door you'll come in and sit on my couch with me for at least an hour and have a cup of tea."

"What!?"

"Promise me, Harvey. One solid hour."

She heard what she was sure was the thunk of Harvey's head hitting the door. "Fine, I promise to drink tea with you. Now open the door!"

"For one hour!" Donna shouted out this important clarification. The hour was the most important part, time enough for him to calm down.

"Yes, fine! An hour!" she could here the exasperation in his voice. When she didn't immediately open the door he shouted again. "Donna!" he said, banging on her door one more time.

"Okay, okay!" she said. "Take it easy!"

She took a deep breath and opened the door. .

"It's about ti…"

Harvey's words died on his tongue. His expression darkened into a storm cloud. She'd never seen Harvey look like this, even at his angriest. His expression was pure, unfiltered fury and for a moment she was actually afraid.

His gaze swept across her face, taking in each bruise before travelling down her body. He looked at her wrapped up arm for a long time before moving on and seemingly taking stock of the rest of her body, searching for injuries. Finding no others, his gaze met hers. His voice was low and deliberate.

He spoke only one word.

"Who?"


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks for reading, I'm so happy and appreciative that you've stuck with the story through my super long hiatus. I hope you enjoy Chapter 8._

* * *

Harvey took in the bruises staining Donna's skin and felt the anger surge in him again. His muscles were tensed and ready to pounce. All he needed was the name. So, he asked again.

"Who did this, Donna."

But Donna simply turned on the spot and walked away, calling back to him. "Okay, tea!"

He followed briskly behind her, shutting her apartment door with a tad more gusto than was needed. The resounding slam it produced did nothing to calm his rage.

"Donna, what happened? Who did this?" He asked as he came to a halt at the entrance to the kitchen. She was fumbling with the kettle and mugs.

"I'm fine, Harvey" She said succinctly. "Now, do you want Earl Grey or Chai?"

Clearly she wasn't going to tell him, so he would just figure it out for himself.

"When did this happen? Sometime this weekend, obviously. What day?"

"Or maybe Chamomile?" Donna asked, completely ignoring his questions.

"Donna…" he began, but she cut him off.

"Harvey! Do you think this situation will be helped in any way by you going off half-cocked and getting arrested on assault charges?"

"I am not going to be arrested for assault." Harvey said, his voice calm. "It will be murder."

Donna threw her good arm up in the air. "Oh, well then that's my mistake! That makes everything much better!" She scowled at him before shaking her finger towards him. "Now, that's enough. You promised to come sit with me for an hour and that's what we're doing. And I'm making us both Chamomile."

She bustled off to fill the kettle, but Harvey wasn't close to being through.

"Did it happen at work?" Her face was blank. "Or at home?" A telltale flush crept up her neck. "Okay, so at home." Harvey concluded.

Donna just continued opening the tea bags and ignoring him.

"Was it a random mugging, or do you know the person? Okay," he said, deducing again, "you do know them."

"Stop it, Harvey!" Donna gave up the pretense of ignoring him. "Stop interrogating me! I told you, I'm fine and I don't...!"

"Was it someone we've had dealings with in the past? An angry ex-client, or maybe…"

"That's enough!" Donna shouted at him. For the first time, Harvey saw the fear and desperation in her expression. "I told you, I do not want to talk about it."

And finally Harvey understood; she wasn't just being stubborn, or simply trying to keep him from running off and pounding the person responsible. She really wasn't ready to talk about it. She was afraid to talk about it.

He watched her trying to open the teabags using her teeth and sighed. He grabbed the bags from her. "Give me those." he said gently.

After getting bags into the cups he gave her a skeptical glance. "What's with the tea? Why no soothing glass of wine?"

She shook her head as she walked over to retrieve the boiling kettle. "Can't. Pain meds."

Harvey saw red again, furious at the reminder of her pain. His voice was gentle however as he stepped up to her side and ran a gentle finger down the slope of her hand in the bandage. "Is it broken?"

"No, it's just a bone bruise"

Harvey's jaw clenched. "Just a bone bruise." He said softly through gritted teeth. "Just someone hurting you badly enough to bruise your bones." He shook his head ruefully, still scowling. "So, nothing to worry about then."

"No, nothing for you to worry about." Donna said seriously as she passed Harvey his cup of tea. She grabbed up her own and moved to sit at the head of her dining room table. "You said you wrote me a letter? When?"

Shit! He absolutely did not want to talk about the letter now. She obviously hadn't read it and it was probably best to keep it that way.

"It wasn't anything important. It was just stupid."

"I don't care," Donna said. "I want to see it. When did you mail it? What was in it?"

But Harvey was shaking his head. "No, really…"

Donna cut him off. "Why would you mail me a letter? Why wouldn't you just give me the letter at work?"

Harvey saw an opportunity in all her questions. "I'll give you answers if you give me answers."

Donna's eyes darkened slightly with fear, but she answered. "I'll make this new deal with you as long as it doesn't negate our first one; you have to stay here with me for an hour."

For the first time since arriving, a hint of a smile came to Harvey's face. "Fine. You have a deal. But only if you go first."

Donna looked like she was going to object, but then fell silent before gesturing for Harvey to proceed with his line of questioning..

Harvey took up the dining chair to her right. Looking into her eyes, he asked his original question for a third time. "Who did this to you, Donna?"

She was quiet for a while, looking into her lap. But Harvey didn't push her, just waited patiently for her answer, now that he was sure it was coming. When it did, it took him a moment to process her response.

"Malik."

Harvey felt every muscle in his body tense, his hand, resting on the table, curled unknowingly into a fist. Donna covered his fist with her good hand. "Please, Harvey, don't."

Harvey took a few deep breaths, understanding that she was asking him not to make this worse for her by losing control. He would keep it together, for her. For now.

"When?" he asked.

"Friday. Around ten o'clock."

Harvey closed his eyes. He'd dropped the letter off around six. If he'd been a few hours later, or if he'd had the balls to stick around and confront her face to face, she wouldn't be bruised and battered now.

"How did it happen?" He asked finally. He needed to try to understand the details. He also suspected she needed to tell the story.

As he listened to her recount the events, he felt the tension building in him. When she described Malik forcing his tongue in her mouth, he couldn't keep a small growl from escaping. When she told him she bit his tongue hard enough to make him bleed, he wanted to cheer.

As the story finished, Harvey remained quiet, trying to digest it all. Tears were quietly falling down Donna's cheeks and he grabbed the box of tissues from her coffee table for her.

"What did the police say?" he asked, as she dabbed at her eyes.

She looked at him like he'd sprouted another head. "I didn't go to the police. Are you crazy? He's the Assistant District Attorney, and we have a known feud, and there were no witnesses. It would just be my word against his."

It was Harvey's turn to look agog. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" He asked, jumping to his feet. "He sent you to the fucking hospital! He's going to jail!"

Donna got to her feet as well. "No, Harvey!" Her voice was frantic. "I'm not going to the police with this. I won't"

Harvey tried hard not to yell. "Donna…"

"No, Harvey. Absolutely no!" And she stormed off toward her bedroom.

Harvey stood for a while, in the middle of her dining room, unable to believe the ridiculousness of Donna Paulsen. When, after five minutes of trying, he was unable to calm himself down, he stormed after her, finding her sitting on the side of her bed.

He inhaled deeply ready to tell her just how ridiculous she was being, when her soft, scared voice deflated him like a balloon.

"I know it's ridiculous, Harvey. I know what a coward I'm being. But, I can't. I just can't do it." She tried to cover her face with her good hand, crying in earnest now.

Harvey's heart felt like it was breaking. He moved over to kneel in front of her, taking her hand away from her face and using his own to cup her cheeks and thumb away the tears that fell.

She tried to speak through her sobs. "I just can't go through it all, with police and lawyers and questions. And all the doubts and the disbelieving looks. He has an impeccable reputation, Harvey...I just...can't…" she trailed off.

Harvey looked into her tear-streaked face. "Okay."

She looked at him questioningly.

"Okay," he repeated himself. "Then don't. Don't do it. Don't go through it. It's your choice. If it's too much, then, it's too much, and we'll leave it alone."

Donna shook her head. "But I'm being a coward, I should be coming forward so he doesn't do it again. I can't just do nothing! What are you thinking?"

Harvey dropped his hands from her face and let his head fall onto her lap. "Donna Paulsen, you're going to be the death of me."

She gave a soft, hiccoughing laugh. "I know."

He pulled his head up from her lap, and caught her gaze, suddenly very aware of the intimacy of his position.

"Okay, why don't I take you down to see my friend at the 76th precinct, Captain Sanchez. He'll listen to you and he'll believe you. We'll take everything else from there." He stood up to leave but Donna grabbed his hand to keep him there.

"Um, I think you're forgetting our deal. You still have to tell me why you wrote me a letter and what was in it."

Harvey felt the warmth of her hand clasping his and all his words fled from him again. He needed to tell her. He needed her to know. He needed to...he needed...fuck it! He needed the damn letter.

"Stay here." He said, gently disentangling himself from her grasp.

He went out to her hallway by her door and looked around the open area. He spotted the bench and immediately knew he'd find it there. He stooped to get it and pulled the muddy envelope from its hiding spot.

He walked incredibly slowly back to Donna's bedroom. This letter could change everything, could actually be the start to a whole new life for the two of them. Or. This letter could actually end everything.

The beginning or the end. What was it that he carried? He entered Donna's room and passed her the soiled envelope.

There was only one way to find out.

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 _Sorry for the cliffhanger once again. I'll write again very soon. :)_


	9. Chapter 9

Hi everyone! Thanks for reading Chapter 9! Hope you enjoy!

I apologize for the delay between chapter 8 and 9. I'm currently writing an historical romance and sometimes those characters get demanding. :) Thanks for sticking with me .:)

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Donna looked up as Harvey re-entered the room carrying a fairly mangaled, dirty envelope.

"Where did you find that?" She asked, perplexed.

"Under your bench in the entrance." Harvey took a deep breath. "I slid this under your door on Friday. It must have been kicked under the bench. I was an idiot not to just give it to you. What can I say?" He shrugged. "I'm a coward."

He hesitated a second more before handing over the envelope. Her name was scrawled across the front of it in Harvey's long swoops.

"Harvey, what is this?" She asked, half afraid of the answer.

"Just open it." Harvey said and turned away.

As she broke the seal of the envelope a sudden brisk rap sounded on her front door.

Donna and Harvey both looked up, neither of them sure they wanted to break the spell of the letter long enough to answer the door.

When the knock came again, louder, Donna sighed and set the letter down on the bed. She left her room and Harvey followed, scowling and obviously frustrated.

Donna looked through the peephole and froze, fear flooding through her. She stumbled backwards away from the door as quickly as she could. Harvey saw the fear on her face and walked up to the door to look for himself.

What happened next happened so fast, Donna didn't even have time to gasp. In one fluid motion, Harvey ripped the door open with a growl and punched Andrew Malik in the face so hard she could see blood spurt from his busted lip. He was down.

Before Harvey could haul Malik back to his feet, presumably so he could knock him down again, two police officers grabbed hold of Harvey's arms and pulled him back into the apartment.

Harvey fought against their hold and amazingly it was Malik who brought calm as the officers tried to get Harvey's hands behind his back.

"No, officers! Please, don't restrain him." His voice was muffled as he wiped away blood with the pocket square of his suit.

With dubious expressions, the officers let go of Harvey who straightened his crinkled shirt and stared daggers at Malik.

Donna walked forward to stand beside Harvey and laid a gentle hand on his forearm. She could feel the taut muscles itching to inflict punishment. But some of the tension left him as she continued to hold onto his arm.

She stared at Malik, no longer afraid. Only anger coursed through her.

To his credit, Malik looked slightly ill as he took in her bruises and bandaged arm. His words were still surprising, however.

"Miss Paulsen, I can never apologize enough for what transpired on Friday."

Under her hand Donna could feel Harvey tensing up again and she instinctively linked her arm through his to calm him. It worked.

Mailk continued. "It is no excuse, of course, but I was extremely drunk and not at all myself that night. I've been under tremendous pressure at work and I'm afraid I took it out on you."

"That's a bullshit excuse!" Harvey burst out.

Malik nodded. "Yes, as I've said, it is no excuse. But I've turned myself in to the police and I have made a full statement about what happened." He gestured to the two officers. "I asked these officers to take me here to see you so I could apologize to you in person, for what it is worth. I thought you might feel safer if they accompanied me."

The taller of the two officers spoke then. "If you can, Ma'am, we'd like you to come down at your convenience and supply us with your own statement."

Donna nodded, completely unsure of everything that was happening. The solid presence of Harvey standing beside her was reassuringly grounding.

She really had nothing to say to Malik, so she merely took the card the officer handed her and nodded again. "I'll be down later today."

"Thank you, Ma'am." He responded and they left, ushering Malik out the door.

Donna moved forward to shut the door behind them and then stood pressing her forehead against it for a moment before pivoting to face Harvey.

"What just happened?"

Harvey was still scowling angrily at the closed door. "I'll tell you what just happened. Malik just set up his defense." His voice took on a mocking tone. "He was drunk and he's so very sorry. He knows if he can spin this from the beginning he can try and make the outcome more to his liking."

Donna shook her head. "Maybe, but I think at least part of it was genuine. I mean, no matter what, he's admitted to a crime, that's going to end his career as an ADA. Or at least put a serious dent in it."

"Good." Harvey said, his voice more growl than speech.

Donna smiled and walked back to where he stood. "At least you got to punch him once without going to jail and I don't have to try and convince people that it actually happened." Her smile widened. "Also you don't have to sit and drink tea with me for an hour. I'm happy to dissolve our deal."

Her eyes widened. "Except for the part about the letter! I still get to read it!" she said as she scurried back into her room.

Harvey entered the room after her. "Maybe I should just go and let you read it…" he trailed off as she pulled the letter out and began to read.

 _A Sonnet for the Bella Donna_

 _Bella Donna is the rarest beauty_

 _Her hair, the sun, with all its sparks and fire_

 _Bella Donna is the finest lady_

 _With skin so soft it sets my heart afire_

 _Bella Donna is th_

 _To hell with this. I am not fucking Shakespeare. I wish I was. You deserve it. But I'm just me. Just Harvey. Just the arrogant asshole I've always been. I'm just me with all my flaws and insecurities._

 _But -_

 _I'm here on this page trying to show you. Trying to tell you._

 _That I love you. But you know that already. So, I'll tell you something you don't know. I need you. Not as a secretary, not as a colleague, not even just as my best friend. I need you in my life, every day. By my side, with me. I need us together, I need to touch you. I need to kiss you. I need you, all of you. Now. Forever._

 _I know I was an ass, and I know this took forever. But I'm not as smart as you. Can you forgive me? Can you love me? Can you give me a promise of forever?_

 _\- H_

Donna looked down at the slightly crumpled piece of paper she held in her hands. The verse of the Sonnet had a double line scratched diagonally through it and there were various other marks and scribbles throughout the letter.

But to her it looked like the greatest, most beautiful thing ever written. It was more beautiful than anything Shakespeare had ever put on a page.

Harvey broke the silence. "I was going to write a good copy. But Rachel insisted that I leave it just as it is." His voice was slightly sheepish and unsure. She'd never heard the tone from him; it sounded like a foreign accent.

"Rachel read it?" Donna asked in a choked voice.

"Yeah...maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you that part. I don't know. But…" Harvey trailed off before taking a deep breath and starting again.

"I was desperate. I thought I'd lost you completely. You were so determined to be nothing but polite. So, I went to see Mike for advice and Rachel was there and she suggested a letter. Actually, she suggested a Sonnet," Harvey continued, his words racing. "and I did try to do the Sonnet, but I just, well, I just suck at it. So, I figured I could at least get my thoughts and feelings out on paper. Because I've felt all these things for so long, Donna. But I've been so afraid."

He moved over to sit beside her on the bed. "And I'm still afraid. Still afraid that I'm permanently damaging the friendship we've had all these years; afraid that I'm going to cause you pain and hurt you because I'm an idiot who doesn't deserve you and doesn't really know what I'm doing."

Donna couldn't hold in the tears any longer. They bubbled out of her like a spring.

Harvey wiped them away. "But I swear to you I will do my best not to fuck things up and not to hurt you. I just, Donna, dammit! I just love you"

Donna covered her face with her hand as the tears continued. After a moment Harvey spoke, frustration evident in his tone.

"Jesus, Donna! Are those good tears or bad tears?! What do you think? What do you think about the letter?"

Donna sniffed, dashing away her tears, and turned to face him properly on the bed. "Well," she said, her tone serious, "your Sonnet is really lacking in form and adherence to proper structure." Her face split into a cheeky, watery grin. "But I think the sentiments expressed therein are beautifully realized!"

She threw her good arm around his neck and climbed into his lap. "A plus!"

Harvey wrapped his arms around her, chuckling, his own eyes slightly misty. "I always knew I had poetry in my soul." He said, his arrogant, Cheshire Cat grin firmly back in place.

Donna laughed, feeling as if her heart could beat freely for the first time in weeks, maybe months. Maybe years.

She ducked her head under Harvey's chin and snuggled into him. She felt his heart beating steadily against her, felt his strong hand stroke up and down her arm, and she sighed deeply. It was like coming home after a very long time away.

And there was no place like home.

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Thanks for reading everyone! There will be one more chapter coming in the next day or two. Because after Donna heals, these two deserve a real first date!

Reviews are incredibly appreciated!


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